Episode 3: The Bully Pulpit
Length: 1:33:28
In this "epic" installment, Ryan and Steve go on for far too long, delivering you (yet again) their longest podcast to date. Sure, you could go see a movie in the time it'd take you to listen to this, but why not waste your time utterly?
This week, Ryan and Steve belittle an endless supply of people, many of them listeners of the show. They make the poor decision of taking questions and comments from the Peanut Gallery on Facebook and end up with a shit-show of epic proportions. Marvel as idiotic comments are barely fielded with irritated responses. Then enjoy long-winded rants and meandering asides covering everything from music to film to comics to irritated, swollen eyelids. Soak in your well-deserved chastisement for never bothering to leave a fucking comment.
Please excuse any pops or other glitchy noises during the podcast, as the normalization process has started intensifying what were previously fairly seamless edits. In the future, we will try not to record podcasts that are so long that A) I have to edit out as much as possible and B) are too long for normal people to listen to.
The non-liars who are actually listening to the MediaGauntlet Presents MouthFist Podcast Inc. will receive a taste of the following:
- Introductions
- Continued confusion regarding episode numbering
- Theories as to why you listeners suck
- Impromptu discussion of industrial music (2:45)
- Razor Blade Dance Floor
- I Die: You Die
- Metropolis Records
- Teignmouth
- Re-Constriction Records
- 21st Circuitry
- Pendragon Records
- Numb
- 16 Volt
- Diatribe
- Slipdisc Records
- 13 Mg.
- Clay People
- Acumen Nation
- DJ? Acucrack (which was indeed on Slipdisc)
- N17
- Nihil
- Rorschach Test
- Cabaret Voltaire
- Out Out
- Chemlab
- Aesthetic Perfection
- Terror EBM
- Skinny Puppy
- Cleanse Fold And Manipulate
- The Process
- Too Dark Park
- Rabies
- "Spahn Dirge"
- Last Rights
- Godflesh
- Steve's personal story
- KMFDM
- Swamp Terrorists
- X Marks The Pedwalk
- Jester / Sonic Boom / Doppler Effect Records
- Nine Inch Nails
- ATD Convention
- Eiffel 65
- Angelspit is terrible-bad
- Leæther Strip
- Penetrate The Satanic Citizen
- "Japanese Bodies"
- Retention No. 1
- The Pleasure Of Penetration
- Science For The Satanic Citizen
- Krankhaus
- The Blessed Virgin Larry
- Hell On Earth
- Combichrist
- Psyclon Nine
- Faderhead
- "Hammer Of The Gods"
- "Coke For My Ass"
- "Dirtygrrrls/Dirtybois"
- Alien Vampires
- Santa Hates You
- Everything Goes Cold
- Dawn Of Ashes
- "Like It? Lick It!"
- SuperCoolNothing
- Wisdom
- Skin
- Letdowncrush
- FullBlackHabit
- American Porn Songs
- Beating Dead Horses
- This Week In Ryan & Steve (20:10)
- BlackBerry PlayBook
- Le Pan
- Modern Combat 2: Black Pegasus
- Legends Of Yore
- Roguelike
- Podcast
- Cunt-eyes
- WD TV Live Hub
- Babylon A.D.
- "The Venture Bros."
- Steve's racist Korean impression
- "The Simpsons"
- "Futurama"
- Dragonlance: Dragons Of Autumn Twilight (why am I still linking this?)
- A strange swelling of the eye
- Stye
- Idle Thumbs Podcast
- The Order Of The Stick
- Pimpstarter moment: The Monolith From Beyond Space And Time
- Lamentations Of The Flame Princess
- "Listener" "requests" (32:36)
- Spooning
- Geeky things
- Bacon
- Post-spooning cannibalism
- Steve's friends: cunts
- Rick Santorum's Fast Nation Of Gay Sex (33:49)
- MouthFist's strong suit: political commentary
- Conversations via Babelfish
- The Uninvited
- Kubrick's script for A.I. (he never wrote one; only treatments were written by other writers over the 2 to 3 decades he was planning the film) (36:30)
- Eyes Wide Shut
- Paths Of Glory
- Full Metal Jacket
- Dr. Strangelove
- (I forgot that Kubrick directed A Clockwork Orange, which I've seen)
- Manic pixie dream girls (37:44)
- Amélie
- Kirsten Dunst
- Elizabethtown
- Natalie Portman
- Garden State
- Kate Hudson
- Almost Famous
- Zooey Deschanel
- Hot Tub Time Machine
- Lizzy Caplan
- Cloverfield
- "True Blood"
- "Party Down"
- Kudos for Matthew Perry
- "Mr. Sunshine"
- "Better Off Ted"
- Hero Lab (40:18)
- Good questions (41:42)
- Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning
- TotalBiscuit
- The Elder Scrolls
- Ken Rolston
- West End Games
- Paranoia
- Fable
- The Dark Knight Rises
- The Dark Knight
- Heath Ledger
- Steve says "alcolades"
- Christopher Nolan
- Star Trek
- Batman Begins
- Views From The Longbox
- "The @#$% Brian Michael Bendis Episode" (Episodes 34 and 35)
- Insulting all comic fans
- David Goyer
- Reminder about comics: not realistic
- Green Lantern
- Ryan Reynolds
- Nova
- Spider-Man 3
- Rifftrax
- Sam Raimi
- Tobey Maguire
- Spider-Man
- Superman Returns
- Bryan Singer
- Twilight
- Act Of Valor
- "Generation Kill"
- "Band Of Brothers"
- "The Pacific"
- Pathological liars
- Batman: Arkham Asylum
- Batman: Arkham City
- Zsasz
- Calendar Man (Of course the character's ancient; it's an absurdly hokey concept... I should have known better.)
- Stilt-Man
- Scorpion
- Paste-Pot Pete (The Trapster)
- Justin Hammer
- Beetle
- Shocker
- Rhino
- Whiplash
- Electro
- Punisher MAX
- Roma (by Queen Games)
- Brendan: a gentleman and a scholar
- HeroQuest
- Space Hulk
- Castle Ravenloft
- Super Dungeon Explore
- "Comic Book Men" (1:01:02)
- All-too-personal stories, sadly related to Kevin Smith
- Wishing cancer on you and all your loved ones
- (To be clear, I wished cancer on Kevin Smith's family)
- Sports hate
- Steve brags about his physical prowess and accomplishments
- "Spartacus: Blood And Sand/Vengeance"
- "Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena"
- Andy Whitfield
- Chris' Invincible Super-Blog
- Fading Suns
- Nerd Hitler
- Mean vs. Mean
- Steve blames his problems on diabetes
- Steve Niles "being awesome" (1:13:57)
- Jennifer Hepler vs. The Internet (1:17:09)
- The Destructiod article in question
- BioWare
- Bethesda
- Baldur's Gate
- Dragon Age
- Fallout
- Fallout 2
- (Sorry about your games, Wes)
- Baldur's Gate II
- Icewind Dale
- Dragon Age II
- Internet threats
- Cancer: the ultimate equalizer
- Report on the Facebook-related murder
- Closing (1:26:02)
- "Our longest, stupidest podcast"
- Leave a fucking comment below
- You're fucking liars
- Who am I doing this for?
- (This podcast: 11 hours of post-production; fuck your face)
- These show notes: The War And Peace of podcasting
- The "Viewer's Choice" episode
- Your mom's a whore
- Thanks again to Brendan Crosser-McGay, Robert White, Ben Trafford, and Adam Blainey for not sucking
- Eventually: "Dolmens & Barrows" and maybe Hellraiser someday
...And cancer for all the good boys and girls!
MouthFist Episode 3 Yet a further warning: This podcast is not safe for children or adults. Do not expose pregnant woman to this podcast. Maybe just don't listen to it at all. I mean, there's horse rape and a lot of cancer.
You can find Steve at Diary Of A Grognerd and Ryan at RyanSpeck.com, as per usual.
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