The Covenant

covenant.jpgrating-2.0Impressively dim-witted, this supernatural superhero movie revolves around a clique of moronic warlocks, descended from original settlers of America, who possess incredible powers. But these powers come at a price, increasing immensely on their 18th birthday and every use draining the user's very life force. That's about as much plot as you'll really wring out of this disaster, which spends more time on its limited CG effects than it does on writing.

If you have the misfortune of seeing this movie, you'll have the joy of watching a bunch of douchey preening teens, drunk with power, starting bar fights and playing pranks on cops. It slowly turns into a mystery, as someone is stalking the campus of their uppity rural private school. You can see every movement coming from a mile away and the whole thing reeks of inferior moviemaking.

Some of the cast members shouldn't be stabbed in the face, but, looking back, I can't quite remember who those people are. Everyone we're supposed to like is a fucking idiot and the villain is one of the most moronic, cardboard characters I've seen in a movie, so bent on being EVIL that he doesn't make much sense.

I wish I could tell you more, but my brain refuses to remember anything else about this film. Not a favorite of mine or anyone else's.

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