- Category: Movies
- Created: Tuesday, 07 August 2007 00:00
- Written by Ryan Speck
Oh, lord. There were really three of these, huh? I mean, I've seen them all, or at least watched most of all three, and I still can't believe it ever made it past the first.
And, really, it didn't. It's the exact same damned plot as the first one. And the second one. A plane crash becomes a traffic accident. A traffic accident becomes a roller coaster accident. But, otherwise, just the same.
The plots all follow a basic premise: some idiot has a psychicalific magic vision of their death; they get a bunch of people to not get killed; Death gets angry and calls up Rube Goldberg to get him to help Death plan his revenge.
What follows is generally a silly and boredom-inducing series of teenagers being afraid, teenagers not believing the psychic jackass, teenagers getting killed for not listening to the psychic jackass, and Death being narrowly avoided, only to show up again in the stinger of the film.
And you pretty much have the whole movie there. In this particular case, a girl, as it always is, sees her future demise on a half-assed roller coaster, makes a big scene, and forces some of her graduating high school classmates to get off. It of course goes off the tracks and Death wants his due. She avoids being killed and researches the bullshit from the past two films, seeing the laws and patterns that Death seems contractually obligated to follow and trying to tell everyone about them. Of course, she seems completely crazy, as does everyone who really enjoys these movies.
Shit goes terribly wrong, there's a huge amount of gore, and people act retarded. There's tits.
What more could you want from a movie? Oh, a good story, a vaguely interesting plot, characters that you don't want to feed into a woodchipper, and the writing and direction of a competent individual? Hmm... Yeah, that might be a problem. The same if you want a refund for seeing this.
While I enjoyed The One, James Wong is generally a disappointment, his two out of the three Final Destination films having been the worst. His writing on the films is also pretty terrible and the movies are nothing more than a series of groans as the audience can't believe the shit they're watching.
And isn't that what you want out of a movie series?