Episode 9: The Least Relevant Thing Ever
Length: 1:26:07
After not bothering to record for six weeks and Ryan not being concerned enough to edit the audio for another three, MouthFist returns with a scattered, sometimes tired, and mainly tangential podcast that attempts to cover things done or watched during that downtime and failing.
Things start out simple enough with discussion about the triumphant launch of The Avengers and Ryan & Steve's viewing of low-budget direct-to-DVD thriller The Aggression Scale, but soon all meaning is lost as they meander to talk about comic films in general, the inability to make a decent Punisher film, what the fuck Scott Speedman has been doing, and the comic artists of the early 90's. Plus racism?
Come for the comedy and stay for as long as you can before giving up and stopping.
Those of you with as much free time as Scott Speedman will potentially hear about the following:
- Introductions
- Where the hell were we anyway?
- Giving birth to kittens
- Welcome to our first call-in show
- "The Big Bang Theory": destroyer of relationships
- MouthFist vs. masturbation
- The Avengers (5:05)
- Battleship: financial failure
- Fuck Ohio
- Spoilers
- "Better than Schindler's List!" - Ryan Speck, author
- A farce regarding The Grey Zone
- Tim Blake Nelson
- "Chaos"
- Steve is Hitler
- We still have listeners?
- Zynga and Facebook's stock are in the shitter; why are we talking about this?
- Steve wants to gargle Adolph Hitler's balls
- Editing "magic"?
- Brendan, are you listening?
- Oh, yeah... The Avengers.
- Iron Man 3
- Shane Black
- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- Inception
- A tangent regarding the making of a decent Punisher film (17:41)
- The Punisher vs. The Punisher vs. Punisher: War Zone
- Steve says "quizessential" twice in the podcast; can you find them both?
- The psychology of studios attempting to make comic book films
- The Crow vs. its comic counterpart
- Man Bites Dog
- The Crow: City Of Angels
- Old people want revenge for being old
- Almost onto a new topic... (27:45)
- Just go see the fucking Avengers already
- Seeing movies in theaters
- Punching children in the face
- The necessity of death threats
- Racism!
- Reverse racism!
- Sideways racism!
- "Hitler is misunderstood"
- SLC Punk
- The Aggression Scale (37:04)
- Dana Ashbrook
- Ray Wise
- Steve apparently wants to have sex with Steve Niles
- Spoilers!
- Steve won't shut up (as listeners know)
- A tangent regarding Underworld: Awakening and Scott motherfuckin' Speedman (48:13)
- Kevin Grevioux
- Steve grabs a boob
- Daybreakers
- Scott Speedman
- Checking Scott Speedman's resume
- The Strangers
- Citizen Gangster
- Them
- Foreign horror mainly sucks
- Frontier(s)
- Ringu
- xXx: State Of The Union
- Duets
- "Spot Speedman"
- "The Speedy Scottsman" starring Scott Speedman
- "The Rural Juror"
- Witzelsucht
- "The Big Bang Theory": the Auschwitz of comedy
- "The Family Guy": wretched, unfunny shit
- Freddy Got Fingered
- "Tom Goes To The Mayor"
- Torturous metaphor involving pudding and bear shit
- The wisdom of Steve: "I would assume bear shit tastes like shit."
- "Wonder Showzen"
- "Mr. Show"
- John C. Reilly
- The death of the written word
- Lockout and everything other than Lockout (1:04:33)
- Comic-related bullshit of the early 90's (1:14:08)
- Professional regret
- Attempted wrap-up
- Industrial music: a thing we talk about not talking about
- Ryan's memory for X-Men covers
- Jim Lee & comic art of the 90's (for way too long)
- Pissing off the nerds
- Half-hearted closing
- Oops... "Racist stuff"
...And a grind to a mediocre halt!
MouthFist Episode 9 Still a warning: This podcast is not safe for children, adults, or Clive Barker. Do not expose pregnant woman or Ridley Scott to this podcast. Maybe just don't listen to it at all, like Scott Speedman. I mean, there's horse rape and throat-fucking and a lot of cancer and internet panhandling and Canadian television and it will spoil the Mass Effect games for you.
You can find Steve at Baconlich.com and Ryan at RyanSpeck.com, as per usual.
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